Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
