i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
