The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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