The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize