my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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