I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
