I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize