well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
