Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
