what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
