I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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