Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
