like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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