Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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