he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
