what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
