I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize