I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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