We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
