I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
