If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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