What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
