Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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