why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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