Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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