Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
