Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
