Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
