no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
