quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
