Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
