I have demons in me.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
