were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
