CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
