does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
