belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
