He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
