There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
