So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
