she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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