so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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