come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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