So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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