omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
