Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
