I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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