dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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