My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
