What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
