I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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