Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
