6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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