like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize