Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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