Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
