Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
